Trust the Process

Hello Everyone! I first want to take a moment to thank Justin Kamimoto for this wonderful opportunity to share my story with you about an awesome man, my son Matt. The following consists of my personal views, opinions, and what I have done and will always do for Matt as his mom with a strong emphasis on the importance of love and encouragement necessary to free anyone suffering from judgements, criticisms, and prejudices associated with the LGBT+ community and life in general regardless of personal choices.  These views are strictly my own.  Matt’s dad, sister, and other family and friends love and accept Matt for who he is.  But, I cannot speak for them on such a personal level as I am going to do for myself. I’m proud, blessed, and very excited to share with you my thoughts so I’m going to dive right in. 

When Matt came out to me in 2007, at the age of 15, I wasn’t surprised. To be honest, though, as his mom I had dreams and wishes of how I assumed Matt’s life would be. Go to college, marry, have children, try hard, work hard, be a good provider for your family.  It always amazes when I try to explain to God what my own plans are. I have to remember He already has our lives figured out.  I’m sure He just shakes his head and says, “Trust me Debbie, I’ve got this”. I should have realized God loves Matt as he is; even before Matt was born.  “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5. There are some people in this world who believe homosexuality is a choice people make because it’s a way to feel accepted, a way to fit it with the crowd.  There are also people who believe the choice to “be gay” is decided through certain drive-by media outlets popularizing this sexual preference as a “fad” by ushering conversations to the mainstream and implying this lifestyle is nothing more than a trendy and somewhat defiant way of living.  These conventional judgements, as we know, deface those whose lives are predicated with being gay. “God loves us and sent Jesus. Jesus came to earth to heal us, not condemn us.”  John 3:16 & Matthew 8:3, 7.  God gave Matt such amazing innate talents, an inquisitive mind, charm, and an infectious personality that was apparent at a very early age. 

I knew that with these characteristics Matt would always carry with him the wisdom, strength, and confidence to accomplish anything in his life.  So, I had to pull from my strong Christian faith, trust in God, and most importantly my strong instincts as his mom and accept the fact that Matt is gay.  I didn’t think twice about it.  I know God has his back, will always protect Matt, and keep him safe.  “The Lord your God is merciful; God will not abandon you or destroy you.”  Deuteronomy 4:31.  Not everyone agrees with this belief, but I know it to be true through my own relationship with God.  Do I worry about the AIDS epidemic more than I did before 2007? ….of course I do.  Do I worry every time my husband gets on an airplane to travel for business? ......of course I do.  Do I worry about my daughter’s first pregnancy and pray she’ll deliver a healthy baby? ……of course I do.  Do I have worries like every other parent in this world? …..yes I do.   Do I have hopes and dreams for my children like every parent in this world? ……I most certainly do.  There are worries everywhere but they shouldn’t consume our everyday life.   This world is filled with the grand, the small, the bizarre, the beautiful, the ugly, and the surprising.  It’s what makes the world go round.  My life with Matt has been all of the above and I couldn’t feel more blessed or more proud to share every bit of it with him.  My life is richer, more luminous, and more well-informed because of my son.  

Matt has a heart of gold.  I don’t think it matters what type of love our hearts pursue, i.e.…same sex, opposite sex, deep friendship, or longstanding.  The heart knows what the heart wants.  Anyone who tries to tell their heart differently will most certainly live a life of loneliness, confusion, and heartache.  My faith has never let me down.   I’ve never let my own views about life conform to the rest of the world’s views, my own strength, and my own determination to succeed in life enabled me to be there for Matt, love him, guide him, and support him so he could become the man he was meant to be.  Matt knows through my love and his own self-confidence that he, too, shouldn’t care what others think of him, call him, or how they react to him.  People that do express this narrow field of vision I believe have allowed themselves to develop an alienated view of the world.  

I love Matt because he’s my son.  He will always be my son no matter what.  The love I have for him cannot and will not be defined by the world views of today.  That’s not what God intended when he gave Matt to me.  There’s no question about it.  I often get asked to explain to people how and why I accepted his lifestyle so easily.  He’s my son.  It really is that simple.   I will always love and support him more than the judgements and criticisms of others.  Because of this, Matt has been able to stay emotionally grounded and focused on what’s important to him.  He has built a strong foundation of values, morals, kindness, and determination from his adversities, weaknesses, and fears.  This foundation remains impervious to the average minded social order of today.  

Acceptance, care, love, kindness.  It was never a difficult decision for me to love my son for who he is as a man, friend, and outstanding member of society.   

Thank you so much!  I hope you get the chance to meet, talk to, or message Matt.  He’s truly a remarkable man who has so much to offer those who know him

His new book is called “If It Hadn’t Rained” by his pseudonym name Numa and it’s available on Amazon Kindle format. It’s not just for the LGBT+ community, but for all of us navigating love and relationships, especially during the years that shape our young lives the most.

I wish all of you a beautiful life, a happy life, and a one filled with dreams and ideals unencumbered by what some people in society think is “right”.  Be you and let the rest of the world adjust.  

- Debbie Dunne